


Call of the Wild

by JotunVali



Category: The Night Of (TV)
Genre: Books, Cell Phones, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drugs, Loneliness, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Prison, Prison nostalgia, Unicorns, prison romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2020-11-09 10:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20851940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JotunVali/pseuds/JotunVali
Summary: After his release from Rikers, Naz feels rejected and lonely. More than before that is. He spends most of his time inhaling heroin. That's the only thing that makes him feel less lonely. But a book reminds him there is something, rather someone, else that can bring him a bit of happiness.Another sense of the word "call".





	1. Chapter 1

He sat on the bank, facing the bridge, where he’d spent a short but good time with Andrea. A disturbed, true, but a nice girl. He’d spent just a few hours with her, without even knowing each other’s name, but it was like she already understood him better than his own friends or family. And then, that fucking murder ruined it all. Her life, his life, everyone’s life… 

He inhaled his heroin. Ah yeah. That felt so fucking good. It relaxed his body, numbed his mind and also it reminded him Andrea… and Freddy. He was the one who taught him to consume the skag like that. On a roach clip, with a straw and lighter… He opened his jacket, searched for something in the inner pocket and pulled out “The Call of the Wild”. The book Freddy gave him. Even though Naz had told him he’d already read it. He probably should throw it away or give it. But he’d keep it. That copy was more important than the one he already had. He softly caressed the book cover. Every time he’d look at it, he’d remember Freddy. The guy who protected and liked him because Nasir was a “unicorn”. He smiled. Maybe he should read it again. That way he could hear Freddy’s voice. Since he could never hear it again in real life. Just like Andrea’s. Nasir Khan had to fall for people he could never see again. He chuckled. Who will it be next? Some penpal living at the other side of the planet? Someone already taken? Some convict condemned to death? Someone he’ll actually kill this time maybe? 

He lit his lighter under the alu foil again. He took a deep breath. And relaxed. That was stupid. He’d waited and hoped and craved so much to be free and now… now all he wanted was to go back to prison. To Rikers. Because he wanted to see Freddy. Somehow he felt more alone and hated now in the fresh night air of the city than back in a fucking prison. Well, being brown, Muslim, drug-addict… he already was enough alone and hated way before that damn night. And there came Andrea, then Freddy… 

_ “You have people who care about you in here. _ I  _ care about you.” _

Naz wondered if Freddy had wanted to go further with him. Then he remembered in a cold shudder Petey. No, men really wasn’t his area. But he liked Freddy. Very much. He wouldn’t have minded a few kisses from time to time. Shit, he missed him so much. What could he do? Commit a real murder this time and then ask the judge to throw him at Rikers because “there is this guy I like very much”? No. No, he’d fucked it up more than enough. Fucked up his family’s life more than enough. If even his own mother thought, even just a few seconds, he was the actual murderer of Andrea, he really should lay low now.

He took in the skag again. Yeah, that would please the fascists out there to see a Muslim lay low. Even before, he already had to be a good boy just to prove Muslim people aren’t dangerous monsters. Now he’d walked through the prison box, he had to lay low, shrink, grind himself even downer. There also were these conservative bigoted people in his, well rather his parents’, community. Bragging about how drugs, booze, music and sex and girls and fun are  _ haram…  _ how  _ he _ ’d brought shame and trouble to his people. And his parents wondered why Naz loved ecstasy and bedding girls he didn’t know. Really, the only person who knew and understood and… loved him was Freddy. Who lived in a prison. Life-sentenced. Far from him. Forever. Tears started to drip from his eyelashes. He wiped them. No. He wasn’t going to regret anything. Mr Stone and Ms Kapoor had fought like lions to save him. He was immensely grateful for them. Just for them, he wasn’t going to go back to jail again. Even if that meant never seeing Freddy again. The tears wouldn’t stop. He vainly wiped them again. He lit his lighter one more time. Shit. No more heroin. He panicked. He looked all around him, desperate for something that could calm his sudden fright. Then he saw his precious book. Gazed at the cover. A wolf. Howling at the moon. That’s what he wanted to do now. Howling clear and loud at the moon, at the world. Howling his frustration, his despair, his loneliness… his love. Instead, Naz kissed the cover lovingly. Now it was stained with teardrops. He wiped it with his shirt then opened the book and read the first sentence. It was a poem.

_ "Old longings nomadic leap, _

_ Chafing at custom's chain; _

_ Again from its brumal sleep _

_ Wakens the ferine strain." _

He pictured Freddy reading it. Shit. Naz should have asked him to read it, or any other book, to him. With his low, manly, smooth, soothing voice. But what would he have thought? Naz snorted. Being asked to read a book for another convict, like a good mom… He would have scoffed at Naz... maybe not. He would have told him “See, Naz? That feral dog, it’s you.”, “You’ve managed to survive and become an alpha, just like Buck.”... well, maybe he  _ had  _ told him. Just by giving him that book. He read the first page then saw something that didn’t match the rest of the lines. A… phone number? Could it be…? No. It was an old book, maybe it just was… But it was hazardous to call a convict, wasn’t it? Especially when he’s life-sentenced. Especially when  _ you  _ are a fresh ex-convict yourself! No, he couldn’t risk his and his family’s life again just for… What if he bought a burner phone? These things weren’t tapped, right? He’d just have to pay in cash. What time was it? Shit. He stood up and strode to the nearest phone retailer.

_ You really are a hopeless, brainless loser, Naz! _


	2. Chapter 2

Naz dropped the roach clip. He felt like fainting.

Freddy caught his wrists. Somehow, feeling his firm hands on his skin helped Naz not to pass out. He should have known. Mixing heroin with speed when on top of that you already had regular asthma attacks wasn’t the wisest decision of his life. But that was the only way to bear a convict life without wishing to slit your veins. That and… he looked up, into Freddy’s concerned eyes. Freddy was concerned about him, Nasir Khan. Maybe that was that, rather than the heroin, which had made him feel dizzy. 

_ “You’re the real deal, Naz.” _

The skag blurring their senses, they stared into each other’s eyes. 

_ “And the fact that you’re under  _ my  _ wing. It’s like I got something nobody else got.” _

Wondering who should move the first.

_ “Like I got a unicorn.”  _

Naz was sure Freddy had giggled like a smitten school girl just after that unbelievable line. 

_ “So why would I not take care of you?” _

It was like Freddy was about to sing him one of these syrupy boys band love songs. Shit. Naz had turned the big bad top dog of the house into a soft and clumsy kitten. Because Freddy liked, loved…? 

Feeling like Freddy was waiting, Naz took the lead and softly, silently kissed him. He was about to draw until Freddy responded. With a bolder and more confident kiss. Naz didn’t think it disgusting. Much to his surprise. Freddy looked at him, searching for a reaction into Nasir’s face.

“You do that to all the innocent guys?” The latter murmured, gazing at Freddy’s lips.

“Nah. You’re my first unicorn.” His kisser smiled.

“And you my first man.” Naz smirked. He’d said that more to himself; to realize that yes, he’d just kissed a guy. Willingly. And he liked it. He kept gazing at Freddy. Silently asking if they could it once more.

They kissed again. And again. Each time lasting longer than the previous one. Then jumped at each other’s mouth. Naz’s fingers digging into Freddy’s sweater and the latter embracing the small convict. His small, wild unicorn. Both groaning and moaning; low enough not to be noticed. 

Fuck.

Kissing Freddy was more addicting, intoxicating and exhilarating than any drug.

“That… that must be the heroin.” Naz suggested, feebly panting.

“Yeah… the heroin.” Freddy agreed. Or pretended to.

“So  _ that’s  _ why you were so nice to me.” Naz sneered. “All these cute little intentions just to hook me up…”

“Motherfucker, when will you believe-!” Freddy angrily spat until Naz’s cut him off with a soft, adorable laugh. “Oh, you little shit!” He chuckled and slapped Naz’s shoulder. “You little… fucker!”

Naz kept on laughing and his beautiful smile grew larger. More dazzling.

“Looks like the student surpassed the master.” Freddy grinned. He hugged his protégé by the waist. “You’re the new alpha of the pack, Naz.” He whispered in a flirtuous voice.

Without thinking, Naz rested his head against his knight’s shoulder. Slowly sighed. Like a heavy awkward burden had been lifted from his back. He finally dared to hug back his protector. Enjoying the softness of the sweater. Even though he didn’t know how to and even if there wasn’t any music, he wanted to dance. Like a slow one.

_ I love you. _

_ I love you! _

He couldn’t say it. Last time he’d made out with someone he liked, it had ended very very badly. Of course Freddy had nothing in common with Andrea but… Naz realized. Freddy had NOTHING in common with Andrea! Or with any girl he knew! Why was he so crazy in love with him? No, he felt good right now. Maybe this will never happen again. He had to enjoy the moment.

He nervously wheezed. Shit, not now! He needed his ventolin. He timidly stepped back, staring down the floor and turned to go back to his cell. He stopped. And glanced back. There must have been a hint of guilt in his eyes. Because Freddy gave a reassuring, warm smile.

“Don’t die just to please me, Naz.” He joked.

Nasir smiled and turned back. 

“Cause it won’t.” He heard just before closing the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

Naz frightfully dialed the number, as if the phone was about to explode.

It rang once. 

Twice.

“Hello?” A delight yet painfully familiar voice picked up.

Naz held in his breath.

“Hello? What’s up?” The deep voice insisted.

Naz flinched.

“Uh-uhm…” He cleared his throat. “It...It’s me.” He nervously stammered.

“I know it’s you.” The voice warmly smiled. Freddy  _ knew  _ who was calling him. “How you doin’?” He enquired.

How was he  _ doing _ ? He was more hated than before and those who didn’t hate him were  _ scared  _ of him. Even his so-called friends from school. His own mother was the most scared. Of her own son. Also his drug consumption had increased ten, hundredfold. And he was considering quitting school. He already had skipped a lot of classes. Even the teachers hated or feared him. The only person who didn’t hate or fear him was at the other end of the line. Freddy Knight.

_ His _ knight.

His eyes watered.

“I miss you.” Naz admitted, a lump blocking his throat. “I miss you a lot.” His voice was trembling.

His correspondent marked a silence. A deadly, awkward silence.

“I miss you too.” Freddy ended up sighing. “Is that all?”

Naz bit his lip. Tried to hold back his threatening tears.

_ No… No, it isn’t. _

“Is it why you called me?” Freddy gently asked.

“No, I…” Naz gulped. “I…”

He yearned to say it. He wanted to say it! But that painful lump in his throat, his itching eyes and open but mute mouth wouldn’t let him. He take a deep, nervous breath in. He closed his eyes.

He regretted it. He deeply, painfully regretted he didn’t call out Freddy before stepping in the cold elevator. 

He was there. Just a few feet away. Vigorously punching into a punching bag. 

_ Look at me. _

Unaware Naz was just behind him. Unaware Naz was leaving. Forever. 

_ Look at me, please! _

Unaware they didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to each other. 

_ Please, I’m begging you, look at me! _

Naz anxiously gulped. Tears threatened to pour out.

_ I’m about to leave! Look at me!!  _

No. He mustn’t. He mustn’t cry. 

He blinked off the few tiny teardrops to the corner of his eyes.

He mustn’t scream Freddy’s name. He was free. It was what he wanted, what Freddy wanted, right? Plus, Freddy’s pals were there too. Naz wasn’t going to ruin it all, his release and Freddy’s reputation because of a… prison love. He walked towards the elevator. 

_ LOOK AT ME!!! _

He couldn’t help turning back one more time.

Then he immediately regretted he didn’t scream Freddy’s name. Regretted Freddy didn’t look at him, not even for one second. The guard gave him money, a card for the subway, he could have given him a wooden spoon or a suitcase torn off handle Naz wouldn’t have made the difference. All his attention was focused on one thing: Freddy  _ did not _ look back at him. And it killed him inside. He stood up.

“Hey. He left this for you.”

A book.  _ “The Call of the Wild” _ . Freddy’s book. 

Wait.

So Freddy  _ knew  _ Naz was leaving today? Then why didn’t he come to see-? Why didn’t he bid him a proper goodbye? Why-? Wait.  _ “The Call of the Wild”  _ was Freddy’s favorite book. The one he’d wanted to give to Naz the day they met. But Naz had told him he already knew it! So why-? 

A parting gift.

It was a parting gift.

Nasir bit his lip. 

Shit. He was about to cry again.

Freddy Knight, the convict, the murderer, the drug smuggler, the big bad alpha male everyone was scared of… was a hopeless romantic! And too sensitive -too sad?- to say goodbye to his sweetheart.

Naz didn’t know if he should laugh or sob. Either way, it’d do it his heart out.

He almost stopped caring about the fact he would be out of the prison in a few minutes.

“I love you.” Naz whispered in the phone in a surprisingly calm voice. “I love you, I-”

He whimpered. The dam broke out. The rain poured. Naz squeezed shut his eyes and put a hand on his mouth, muffling the cries and squeaks as well as he could. “I love you so much...” He breathed in a hoarse voice before crying, sobbing his heart out. Curled up underneath his blanket. 

That’s it. He’d fucked up his life, his family’s life, his community’s life, Ms Kapoor’s life… now he’d just fucked up and snuffed out the only glimmer of light and joy that had remained in his sorry loser’s life! Freddy’s bleak, dreadful, appalling silence confirmed it.

“Hey. It’s alright.” The smooth voice in his ear told him.

Naz gasped.

“It’s alright, ok?” Freddy kindly comforted him. “Don’t get so anxious about it. It’s alright. It’s no big deal.” He assured him. 

No big deal?  _ NO big deal?? _ Naz was in love with someone he could never see again, someone he could have confessed to earlier, when he had the chance -like when he was still in prison for example!- but didn’t because Naz was helplessly stupid! Incredibly, hopelessly stupid! Like when he saw Andrea’s corpse. He’d prefered the survival instinct and to run away rather than calling for help! Even if it’d have been useless -she clearly didn’t survive the 22 fucking stabs!- maybe it’d have lessen or even avoid him and his family all that shitty trouble! 

Naz was in love. 

And a dumbass. 

A dumbass in love.

“And… ugh….” The voice at the other end of the line added.

Naz didn’t like the sudden bothered -embarrassed?- tone of Freddy.

“...I love you too.”

“Wh-what?” Naz squeaked. He must have misheard.

“I love you.” Freddy clearly repeated. “My favorite unicorn.” 

He sounded… giggling?

Like…

...back at their last conversation?

Naz covered his mouth again. Snot and tears already covered his hand. His whole laid down body quivered and trembled. Never in his life had he felt so happy and so miserable before! He sniffled.

“I want to see you.” Naz wailed, tears strangling his voice.

“But you  _ can  _ see me.” Freddy asserted. “Just look at your book.”

Naz glanced at “the Call of the Wild”. He remembered the skipped beat of his heart when the jailer told him Freddy was giving it to him. First he’d wanted to say he didn’t want it, that he already had it at home, then because he thought he’d probably never see his knight again, he’d taken it. Also... Freddy gave the book as a “good bye”, as a “that way, you’ll always carry a bit of me with you”. Like in those mushy, corny rom-coms! The big bad Alpha wolf really was a courteous, romantic knight! Naz smiled and wondered what other  _ kinds  _ of books Freddy liked to read. 

“I’ll… cherish it all my life but… I’m afraid it’s not enough.”

“And I’m afraid I can’t get out of here. Despite what everyone might think, I’m not almighty.”

“Please…” Naz sobbed. “I only have you… Don’t leave me alone…” He squeaked.

“I’m not leaving you, love. I can stay up all night if that’s what you want.”

Naz responded with a few sniffles and hiccups.

“I love you…” He breathed. He really didn’t know what to add.

“I love you too.” Freddy serenely replied.

Naz swallowed. He felt he’d instantly die the second he or Freddy would hang up. A new stream of tears ran over his face. He muffled them.

“I’m… so alone… so lost… I… I don’t know what to do. Only rage… fills my head… it scares me… rattles me… I feel so angry… so… drowned… rage won’t go away… you’re… the only one I can talk to… I wish… I wish I could see you…” He breathed in a tired and husky voice.

He heard like a sigh at the other end of the line. 

“See you!... Touch you… Feel you… I feel cold... yet I’m… burning up... with rage... and anger inside… I… I need you… I only have you… Nothing… nothing or no one... else… can make me feel better…” He tried to swallow the heavy lump in his throat.

He heard another sigh. Louder.

“I’m sorry if!… if I sound like… a beggar… or... like I blackmail you but… but that’s… that’s how I feel... right now…” He whimpered.

“Ok.” Freddy at last responded. There was no trace of annoyance or irritation in his voice. “Ok, listen. I”ll try my best to meet your needs, dear, ok? I can’t promise you anything but I swear I’ll try something. How does that sound to you?”

Naz sobbed. Silently. Under his blanket.

He loved Freddy. He loved a man. He loved  _ that  _ man! He craved to run to him right now and hug him extremely tight! And die in his arms!

“But we’ll have to wait.” Freddy warned.

We? He… he wanted to see him too?

“Till then, how about you read me your new book, alpha?” Freddy sounded like smiling.

“I-I’d love to but… but…”

“You’re not in the physical shape to? No problem. I know it by heart.”

“I thought so…” Naz tried to laugh but failed.

“Old longings nomadic leap, chafing at custom's chain; again from its brumal sleep wakens the ferine strain." Freddy poetically recited with his manly, smooth voice.

Naz couldn’t help picturing himself attached to a chain. The society’s chain. That society which didn’t want him, hated him and he yearned to run away from. That chain was his burning,  painful anger in his heart and the anger from the racist douchebags around him. It hurt. It hurt so much. But he couldn’t escape from it. And it hurt even more.

_ I want to leave. _

_ I want to run away. _

_ Run to you. _

“Buck did not read the newspapers, or he would have known that trouble was brewing, not alone for himself, but for every tide-water dog, strong of muscle and with warm, long hair, from Puget Sound to San Diego.”

Naz softly snorted.

He knew Freddy also was thinking of him while reciting about the dog Buck. The newspapers were the cogs of the law Naz knew nothing about the night he got arrested. The tide-water dogs were all the brown and black children and teens wrongly arrested. And… was he strong of muscle? He glanced at his arm. Yes, he rather was. But the warm long hair? His head was shaven. 

“How about _ I  _ call you every night?” Freddy suddenly suggested. “One chapter at a time?”

“You could recite me whole War and Peace in a row, I’d still listen to you.” Nasir admitted out loud.

“And you could read a Dora the Explorer book to me, I’d listen to you.” Freddy joked.

Naz laughed for the first in a long time.

Then he remembered he’d paid his phone for only one hour of call. But it was impossible for him to hang up. He didn’t have the strength to. The prospect to hear the sheer and bleak silence instead of Freddy’s smooth and heartwarming voice destroyed him.

“Naz…” His knight called him by his name for the first time since his call. “I’ll still be here tomorrow.”

Emotion and fear kept him from uttering any word.

“Do you think you can wait until tomorrow?”

“I… I don’t know.” Naz cried.

“ _ I _ will hang up, ok?”

“No!” Naz almost screamed, forgetting his parents and his brother were sleeping. “No, please…” He begged.

“It’s alright. It wasn’t my intention.” Freddy kindly asserted. Then sighed again. “Please calm down a bit, love, ok?”

“Ok…” Naz whimpered. 

He couldn’t. Calm. Down.

He couldn’t live just a few minutes without Freddy’s voice balming his heart and ears.

“I… I think I’ll have trouble hanging up too.” Freddy honestly added. “I miss you too, little Sinbad.”

“When… when can we see each other?” Naz dared to ask, even if it sounded a bit rushing.

“Look, I… I’ll figure out something. Alright?”

Naz suddenly felt guilty. Maybe the love of his life will get in trouble, in danger, because of him!

“Will you… will you be ok?”

“Are you kidding? Me? Ok?” Freddy burst into laugh. “ _ I  _ should be asking that to you!” 

“So-sorry…”

“What for? Look, I’ll work out something with the guards but that can take time. That’s why I ask you to wait.”

Naz let silence reply for him.

“I’ll… I’ll wait for you.” He frightfully whimpered.

“Thank you, sweetheart. And hang in there. I’ll do the fastest I can.”

“Thank you.” Naz whispered. “C-Can you…?”

“Yes, love?”

“Can you recite me… the whole first chapter?”


	4. Chapter 4

Freddy told him he was waiting for him near the Queenbridge park. At first Naz didn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe it. He  _ saw  _ Rikers. He  _ lived  _ in Rikers. Breaking out of it was impossible. Even smuggling drugs into the jail was extremely hard, so getting out of it… But it was Freddy. The top dog of the house. Even on top of the jailers. Everyone with no exception was at Freddy’s feet. Escaping shouldn’t be that difficult for him. Still, Naz felt guilty he might get in danger because of him and his stupid sappy whims. Especially when Naz was feverishly waiting in the heavy cold for his knight for one hour now. Darting his eyes on his right, on his left, in all the directions around him and caught no glimpse of his escapee. And either way, what would his parents say if he brought back home a prison mate freshly escaped from jail, condemned for several murders and who displayed a splendid large scar over his face? Shit. He had already brought enough worry and trouble to them! Now, that! His mother could have a heart attack! His father could leave home for weeks, maybe forever! Fuck! Fuck! What was he thinking? What was he thinking goddammit?? He punched his forehead with frustrated fists.

“Shit. Shit!” He cursed.

He glanced at each side of the street, checking the absence of policemen before going back home, and tried to forget that idiotic and unrealistic date and forget Freddy. Then…

Then…

A wounded face.

A soft smile.

Naz’s brain shorted out. 

His heart froze. 

Like the whole world, his whole soul, had been sucked empty. 

Except for Freddy. 

All of the world, inside and outside of Naz’s mind, now had merged into Freddy. The man standing in front of him. 

Naz stepped.

Ran.

Rushed to him.

Almost crushed his body against the cold leather vest. Despite the thin frost on Freddy’s vest, Naz rubbed off his cheek, his face against it. His warm tears making it melt.

“It’s ok, Naz.” The light of his life whispered. “I’m here now. You’re not…  _ we _ ’re not alone anymore.”

Naz whimpered and sobbed as a response. He hugged Freddy tighter. His eyes and his lungs were about to explode.

Freddy was here! He really was here! Nothing mattered anymore! His heart didn’t ache anymore. Now, Nasir Khan could die. Happily.

* * *

Casually walking down the street already felt awkward and weird enough to Nasir. Walking down the street hand in hand with a man felt weirder. Walking down the street hand in hand with the most feared and charged convict of NY’s biggest jail who’d just escaped it just for him felt the hell of the weirdest weird. But it didn’t feel wrong. Naz clutched his now warmer hand tighter on Freddy’s. 

No. It didn’t feel wrong at all.

It felt good.

It felt so right.

He smiled.

The only thing that bothered him was a small fear some police officer in the street might know Freddy and throw him back to Rikers, this time with no chance for Naz to see him again. But there was no police in sight. It was Saturday night, cops were too busy on Saturday nights to kill time randomly arresting dark-skinned guys in the street. Or so he assumed. He felt Freddy’s grip on his hand slowly growing tighter. He looked at his… darling? If they could be called like that… He looked at him as if to check if that loving grip wasn’t just the ripe old fruit of his fertile imagination. Freddy responded with the most beautiful -and a little bit mocking- smile Naz had ever seen. Naz laughed and winded his arm around Freddy’s, bringing their bodies closer. Naz noticed only a few minutes later Freddy hadn’t protested or pushed him back. 

They were sitting at Naz’s usual place. The place he was used to chill in and to smoke on skag or meth. Sometimes both. He proposed some of it to Freddy who obviously accepted. Both started to silently breathe in and out their joints. The place he’d driven Andrea to. Maybe to him that bank was the most romantic place on Earth. His head dropped on Freddy’s shoulder.

“Hey. Let’s never leave.” He muttered. “Let’s stay here.” He vaguely suggested, staring at an imaginary horizon, not caring one bit about the bitter cold weather.

“Naz. You belong with your family. Not here.”

“I never feel more alone than when I’m with my family!” Naz sharply claimed, his eyes shifting to a rather surprised Freddy. “They’re all scared of me! The rare times we talk to each other, they sound like I’m about to pounce them!” He paused. “You’re the only one I can talk to. The only one who makes me feel listened and understood.” He wiped his eyes.

“Your lawyers also listened to you, Naz. From what you told me, they seemed like providential envoys of God.”

“It was their job! I’ll never be grateful enough for them but it simply was their job to defend me. They’re lawyers, not therapists.” Naz snorted. “Just  _ one  _ of them is still on duty. Because of me. How can I talk again to Miss Kapoor after I’ve ruined her life?” He looked into Freddy’s with watery eyes.

“Bullshit, you never forced her and  _ she  _ should have remembered the cameras. And maybe  _ she  _ would like to see you. You don’t know that.”

“No. I’ve already killed her career. I don’t want to have her killed literally.”

“You don’t know what killing is, Naz. Not at all.” Freddy murmured more to himself. He smoked out.

“Why do you want me to date someone else than you, anyway?” Nasir asked. “You like me. Right?”

“It’s precisely because I like you I tell you to date other people. You seem like you’re forgetting I’m a life-sentenced convict.” Freddy half-scolded his boyfriend. “_I_ have killed people, Naz. How do you think I got that?” He tapped on his scar. “You remember my last victim, don’t you?”

Nasir nervously gulped.

“Why do you think I’m the most respected guy in Rikers? I’m like the fucker who stabbed your girl, Naz. And I’ve done way worse than just 22 stabs or slicing throats.”

“Ugh! I… I don’t know.” Naz sighed. “Maybe I’m so down in the dumps… my only ray of hope… is the only guy who believed in me, protected me… and loved me… when I was in the sewers.” He smiled at Freddy. A dazzling smile. “And I don’t fucking care he’s a serial murderer.”

"You must be the only one then." Freddy smiled back.

They couldn’t help kissing each other. Almost forgetting their chemical drugs. 

Preferring the heart drug.


	5. Chapter 5

“So what now?” Freddy asked. “Introduce me to your family? Or do we have to stay here freezing our asses off?”

“I… uh…” Naz really didn’t know. He didn’t intend to stay outdoors all night, especially when  _ he  _ was lucky to have a bedroom waiting for him, contrary to the countless homeless guys he met in the street every night and who bought him drug for some of them. But how would his parents react? They would drop dead at the mere sight of Freddy: tall, intimidating, a nasty scar slashing his face and 20 years or so older than him! Even if Nasir didn’t present him as his boyfriend, that last feature would still stir doubt and suspicion. But… but he couldn’t, he didn’t  _ want  _ to go home without Freddy! His home  _ was  _ Freddy!

“Your friendly neighbors won’t have no shit to gossip about if they don’t  _ see  _ us coming.” Freddy found the answer. Meaning: going home while it’s still night and dark is better than waiting for sunrise and light that will allow his nosy neighbors to spread dubious rumors about him.

“B-but my parents…” Naz nervously stuttered.

“I won’t slice them or eat them.” Freddy joked.  _ Half _ -joked.

Naz sighed. There wasn’t any other option, was it? He deeply sucked in the last of his joint to get some pretence of bravery and chaffed it off. Then took Freddy’s hand.

“Made up your mind, Sinbad?” The escapee smiled. “God, is it a hand or an icicle? D’you never wear gloves?”

“What for? My hands are full all the time.” Naz implied.

“I see. I’ll have to find you a good pair of furry gloves then.” Freddy decided.

“Out only for a few hours and already taking yourself for my pimp?” Naz glared at him with a fakely offended look. 

“If not me, who will take care of you?” Freddy retorted.

“Oh, and a  _ conceited  _ pimp on top of that!” Naz grinned, his eyes however full of glitter.

“If you don’t stop calling me a ‘pimp’, I might start to act like one.” Freddy deeply and suggestively stared into them.

“Try me.” Naz murmured.

“Wait till home, sunshine.” Freddy warned. Promised?

If so, Naz couldn’t wait to be back home. His heart had already started to pound hard.

The street was empty except for a few orange lights. The entry door was open. His father closed it only after eleven pm. It was 10:45. They had been close to spend the night outdoors. It was dark. Everyone must have gone to bed. 

“So what now, Naz?” Freddy interrogated.

“I… I don’t… I don’t want to bother them. Not now. They may even be asleep right now. And...and I don’t… ugh. Don’t get mad but... if I showed a big guy with a large scar on his face to my family in the middle of the night, they… they…” Naz stuttered with anxiety.

“I get it. Why would I get mad at that?” Freddy smiled at him. “Scared of being racist?” He teased.

“Wh-what? N-no, I…! I’m not! I… I don’t think so. Wait, no! No, I’m not! I…” Nasir freaked out.

Freddy chuckled. Proud of his trick.

“Oh, fuck you.” Naz ended up spitting.

“Is that an invitation?” Freddy kept on on teasing him.

Naz didn’t reply anything. 

He kissed him. Softly. Silently.

“Show me your bedroom?” He whispered.

Naz shyly nodded. He took his lover’s hand and showed him the way. He just hoped he wouldn’t bump into his parents or brother on their way.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments? :3


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